Practice Appropriate Sexual Intimacy

Intimacy withing marriage is both appropriate and divine.  Yet, even within marriage intimacy must remain both proper and pure.  The following are both statements and articles that will aid in understanding and maintaining appropriate sexual intimacy within marriage.

Brent A. Barlow, “They Twain Shall Be One: Thoughts on Intimacy in Marriage,” Ensign, Sep 1986, 49

Russell M. Nelson  Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
Marriage is both a commandment and an exalting principle of the gospel. Because it is ordained of God, the intimate physical expressions of married love are sacred. Yet all too commonly, these divine gifts are desecrated. If a couple allows lewd language or pornography to corrupt their intimacy, they offend their Creator while they degrade and diminish their own divine gifts. True happiness is predicated upon personal purity. Scripture commands: “Be ye clean.” Marriage should ever be a covenant to lift husbands and wives to exaltation in celestial glory.  ("Nurturing Marriage," Ensign, May 2006)

John Taylor
(1808-1887) President

We have a great many principles innate in our natures that are correct, but they want sanctifying. God said to man, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." (Genesis 1:28.) Well, he has planted, in accordance with this, a natural desire in woman towards man, and in man towards woman and a feeling of affection, regard, and sympathy exists between the sexes. We bring it into the world with us, but that, like everything else, has to be sanctified. An unlawful gratification of these feelings and sympathies is wrong in the sight of God, and leads down to death, while a proper exercise of our functions leads to life, happiness, and exaltation in this world and the world to come. And so it is in regard to a thousand other things.    (The Gospel Kingdom: Selections from the Writings and Discourses of John Taylor [1987], p.61)

Joseph F. Smith  (1838-1918)  Presdient

The lawful association of the sexes is ordained of God, not only as the sole means of race perpetuation, but for the development of the higher faculties and nobler traits of human nature, which the love-inspired companionship of man and woman alone can insure. (Improvement Era, June 1917, p. 739.)

Spencer W. Kimball (1895-1985) President

It is the destiny of men and women to join together to make eternal family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love.  (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], p. 311)

The union of the sexes, husband and wife (and only husband and wife), was for the principal purpose of bringing children into the world. Sex experiences were never intended by the Lord to be a mere plaything or merely to satisfy passions and lusts. We know of no directive from the Lord that proper sex experience between husbands and wives need be limited totally to the procreation effort, but we find much evidence from Adam until now that no provision was ever made by the Lord for indiscriminate sex.  ("The Lord's Plan for Men and Women," Ensign, Oct. 1975, p. 4)

It is not love if it manipulates; it is selfishness; it is irresponsibility. If sex relations merely become a release or a technique and the partner becomes exchangeable, then sex returns to the compulsive animal level. (Love Versus Lust, Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University Publications, 1975, p. 15.)

Love is far more than physical attraction. It is deep, inclusive, and comprehensive. Physical attraction is only one of the many elements; there must be faith and confidence and understanding and partnership. There must be common ideals and standards. There must be great devotion and companionship. Love is cleanliness and progress and sacrifice and selflessness. This kind of love never tires or wanes, but lives through sickness and sorrow, poverty and privation, accomplishment and disappointment, time and eternity. (Faith Precedes the Miracle [1972], pp. 157–58.)

Proper Intimacy Within Marriage

Avoid the Plague of Pornography

Definition of Pornography

We in the Church have a wider definition of pornography than the world.  The True to the Faith gospel feference guide defines pornography this way:

Pornography is any material depicting or describing the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings.  (p. 117)

Boyd K. Packer  President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

In our day the dreadful influence of pornography is like unto a plague sweeping across the world, infecting one here and one there, relentlessly trying to invade every home, most frequently through the husband and father. The effect of this plague can be, unfortunately often is, spiritually fatal. Lucifer seeks to disrupt “the great plan of redemption,” (Jacob 6:8; Alma 34:31) “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8).

Pornography will always repel the Spirit of Christ and will interrupt the communications between our Heavenly Father and His children and disrupt the tender relationship between husband and wife.

The priesthood holds consummate power. It can protect you from the plague of pornography—and it is a plague—if you are succumbing to its influence. If one is obedient, the priesthood can show how to break a habit and even erase an addiction. Holders of the priesthood have that authority and should employ it to combat evil influences.

We raise an alarm and warn members of the Church to wake up and understand what is going on. Parents, be alert, ever watchful that this wickedness might threaten your family circle.  (“Cleansing the Inner Temple,” Ensign, Nov 2010, pp. 74–77)

Talks and Articles About Pornogprahy and How to Overcome the Addiction

Birth Control

Church Handbook of Instructions (1998)

It is the privilege of married couples who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for the spirit children of God, whom they are then responsible to nurture and rear. The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter.

Married couples also should understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.